I was recently asked what the Ten Commandments would say if they were written today. I suggested these:
- Thou shalt go to college and acquire at least a Bachelor’s degree.
- Thou shalt root for at least one sportsball team.
- Thou shalt drive a car.
- Thou shalt eat the flesh of animals.
- Thou shalt breed.
- Thou shalt worship babies, and mothers, and parents. With thy tax penalties shalt thou worship them.
- Thou shalt be monogamous, that thou mayst treat thy partner as property even while denying it.
- Thou shalt copyright everything, that thou mayst censor even while denying it.
- Thou shalt bank and use credit cards and organize thy days according to “work” and “bills”.
- Thou shalt not question any of these commandments, lest thou be some kind of radical freak.
